The Ballad of Padraig Mallon

Here’s a true tale of an Irish lad named Pat

Dreamed of crossing the ocean on a big white yacht.

Saw an ad on the internet, ‘Crew for crossing the Atlantic’

And thought to himself, that sounds fine and romantic!

“That’s the craic for me!” he said with a grin.

Claire gritted her teeth and said, “Here we go again!”

Next thing Pat’s packed his boots, trunks, pyjamas,

A photo of his wife, and he’s flown to the Bahamas.

Arrived in Spanish Wells on the big blue ferry

To meet a pair of Aussies named Carol and Terry.

They’d set out on a cruise, a journey immense

On a Catalina sailboat known as ‘Common Sense’.

Purchased in Annapolis from skipper Dave,

She looked quite comfortable, sturdy and brave.

The Aussies welcomed Padraig aboard with a cheer

And said, “We’re glad you’re with us – have some cake and a beer!

A few days enjoying the calm blue sea,

Padraig thought to himself, it’s the life for me!

Set off for the Abacos, the weather brisk and breezy

Pat took the helm and said, “This’ll be easy!”

A week in Marsh Harbour buying in supplies,

Meeting other cruisers, watching sea and skies;

Swimming in warm water with the sharks and barracuda

Till at last it was time to set sail for Bermuda –

Seven hundred miles out in the Atlantic Sea.

Pat looked at the charts and said, “How hard can it be?”

Exit from the slip, all was going fine,

Through Man o’ War Cut, Pat threw out a line –

Hooked a big Mahi Mahi, shiny and sleek

Gaffed it and cleaned it, kept them fed for a week!

Sailing, fishing, eating and sun

Pat said, “This cruising life sure is a heap of fun!”

But the Sea Gods thought more respect was due,

They’d show this Irishman a thing or two…

And besides, the crew forgot that their course’s angle

Would take them right through the Bermuda Triangle!

A few days of calm, just to let them settle in

Then the wind started howling with a terrible din;

The seas were rising, the sails were lashed,

Around the cabin everything crashed!

Fifty-five knots of wind and a terrible heel,

Terry and Padraig clinging to the wheel;

A demented demon, the wind raged and screamed

While into the cockpit the driving rain teemed.

Common Sense was knocked over, but she came back around –

It’s true you can’t keep a good girl down!

Finally the wind and the rains became quieter,

In the east, the sky gradually grew lighter.

After a passage grueling and tense

Into St Georges Harbour sailed poor Common Sense

With her deck awash and her headsail torn

And her crew of three looking shagged out and worn.

In beautiful Bermuda, rum, food and hot showers

Restored their energy and their sailing powers.

 

Padraig was up for the challenge, he felt his spirits soar –

“Bring on the Atlantic – set sail for the Azores!”